Laying down the paw

Ok friends n neighbors – long post ahead.

This old bear still has some bite left and this weekend my raid discovered the hard way that I’d had enough nonsense. I logged in on Friday for our KZ run and ran into the guild leader who asked if I knew any of the backstory to our losing our main tank.

For a quick update I’ll add in something I hadn’t yet shared. Our main tank had been through hell AND high water and came out the other side as one would expect. So great was the drama that on Thursday night she apparently decided she’d had enough and traded her account with a friend and returned to her old PvP server. Don't know if we'll ever see her again.

Now I wasn’t the first bear on the mountain, but I’m not stupid either. This whole thing smells like old trout and I have some thoughts on how a bear can deal, but we’ll go into that later.

My immediate concern on Friday was to force the issue of resolution. I had a quick chat with the guild leader and very simply said, “This isn’t fun. Either we lose the emo or I’m going to ask that you find someone to replace me immediately.”

The GL agreed and we got our group together quickly, minus the raid leader who was one of the prime sources for the drama. The regulars got into private vent after I and the GL chatted. We explained that our main tank was gone, described without detail some of the reasons for her decision and left it at that. We got a newer tank to pug with us, someone a few of us knew as being reliable but without the best gear. I OT’d most of the raid and while we went slower than normal, we one-shotted up to curator. We plan to head back tonight and clean the rest up, Prince, Nightbane and the rest. I will likely be main tanking tonight – my first go at it – wish me luck.

When I spoke to the guild leader about our raid leader’s actions that fostered this nonsense, I simply said, I don’t know him, I don’t have any bad feelings about him, he seems to be a nice enough guy, but I don’t really care. His actions to date have left us in a shambles while he’s off in SSC/TK and that isn’t fair to this group. Further, there’s no fun left – so let’s change it or break up the group.

Results
The raid leader isn’t coming back, and we’ve told everyone that we aren’t interested in hearing about the newest movie or newest love, even while we’re clearing trash. We aren’t putting up with BS any more and that’s pretty much that. Friday went slow, but vent was clear, people were focused and everyone said things went so much nicer than before.

Now for a bear’s thoughts. Our MT supposedly left our server and went back to her old one, giving her T4 tank to someone she knew. Apparently she’d only been here because of her now ex-bf. I can see some of that, but I know she was well liked and I have a hard time imagining someone giving up a character as well geared as she has become. But as I told the rest of the people who asked me, I am not smart enough to know when someone is lying to me. So I presume everyone is telling the truth. What gain could she have in leaving the entire server this way? And to do so because of ONE PERSON? What possible motive could drive a person to make up such outlandish stories? No, I don’t believe that and I took her at her word.

And another thing, there's never a good reason to be rude or deliberately mean to someone. Even if you think they are lying to you, just don't play with them anymore. But to make a federal case out of such things is really childish, and you run the risk that IF a person is telling the truth that you really hurt someone's feelings. Our tank told us what was going on, sometimes a little TMI, but to challenge her statements would have been akin to telling a woman she didn't get molested. In other words, it cannot be said. For those of you out in the world who don't know this, there ARE some things that can't be taken back. There are some things once done that can't be un-done. So even if you think you're being had, walking away is always a safer option than starting a pissing match. At least you look more mature.

But yes, for those of you wondering, there is a little tiny corner of my mind that wonders if I am self-delusional about her statements and whether or not I should care. Right now I don’t care and am not going to think on it - time will usually tell in things like this.

I do know one thing though, I’ll miss playing with her.