Clearing up the last of the mess.

In reading over my last week’s posts I realized I’d undergone a slight be definitive shift in terms of where my head was in this guild drama. I’d gone from standing outside it to taking an active role in resolving it.

While I made some statements here that may seem incongruous, I think they reflect a more subtle change of heart.

When I wrote that the raid leader was ruining my fun, I was angry and disappointed that I’d let someone else mess with my game time. When I heard about the troubles he was causing other people I realized he was ruining it for others as well. What really made me angry I think was that he was doing so deliberately – in an effort to bolster his own self esteem – “I’m leet – yur not.”

Sorta like the, “If I hate so and so then you should too.. my way is the only way or I’ll go and pout.” Which is sorta what he did. He took his ball and went home, so to speak.

I actually did have a chance to talk to him the other day. We were all on vent chatting about this and some other non-related stuff when he logged on. He got into the whole thing almost right away and began spouting his nonsense again. Well she shouldn’t have lied (attempt to justify) wasn’t really a girl and I know it (attempt to collude and justify). That bad thing that happened to her didn’t happen, etc

This went on for a bit and I could feel myself getting more upset. I was about to log when one of the others on vent said, “Agro said she was a girl, said he spoke to her and that she was on vent with him frequently.” (mostly true, a few times, nothing I'd call frequent)

I confirmed that the person I’d spoken to was a girl. I followed it up truth being a relative thing, that you can’t know one way or the other if a given bad thing happened or not and that it would have been better for everyone had the mean things simply not been said. He tried to shift his agrument back to the points about belief, and I countered with - "well, what good came of your 'disbelief? She's gone, we're now 4 weeks behind on progression and you aren't with us - so how did your comments to her "Help" us?' I added that truth didn't matter, since there's no way someone would know unless you knew them IRL - so what did it matter?

I think he had to admit that not only was I right, I could tell he had trouble swallowing that bit of crow, but that many of the people listening to us probably agreed with me – even if you didn’t believe her you didn’t have to make her so mad that she quit, or kick her out for doing what you yourself did. I also tried to reason with him in such a way that I didn't look like I was publicly berating him - just showing him I could disagree calmly and rationally, using logic skills. Eh, I'm not that smart, but I can act like the Old Bear of the Woods on occaion - I hope I did the right thing here.

Good lessons here for all.